Here are 3 signs you’re heading for burnout…
There have been two stand out experiences in my life that have floored me and they didn’t come about from a big, traumatic event. Both experiences involved me pouring far too much out of my own cup and not refilling it. One was a career based near burnout situation where there was a perfect recipe of lack of support, a toxic environment and a hefty dose of judgement and shame all merging with my own unreasonable levels of expectation of myself, not others. The second was burnout, panic attacks and a complete fall into the poorest physical and mental health I’ve ever experienced. This was 5 days after the birth of my third child and again, my own expectations were a significant factor here. Unreasonably, I believed I could do things around the house that I most certainly was not physically able too. I also, admittedly, was very resistant to asking for help (hello, ultra independence). I also lacked in eating enough food never mind nutritious food, severely lacked in sleep and was breastfeeding. Again, another recipe for disaster.
The reason I share this, is often overwhelm, burnout and excess stress creep up on us. It doesn’t always take a big situation to catapult us into a physical and mental crisis. We cannot control the environments we are in and often we find ourselves in situations, environments and around people that create a sense of unease, frustration and resentment within us. Sometimes the narrative is to leave that job, break up with your partner, go no-contact but really these don’t solve anything and could create more difficult situations. Knowing when to move on, minimise contact or take other measures that are quite significant is best explored with people you trust and that will hear you out or provide advice that you believe is good quality. Obviously, I’d recommend coaching due to the passion many coaches have for their craft, the coaches personal and professional experience and their future focussed vision as well as their ability to remain compassionately objective if they are skilled enough.
What we can do is practice noticing what is going on around us and within us and identifying the correlation and the internal chatter that accompanies it. Here are 3 signs you’re heading for burnout:
You are snappy and frustrated at people you care about. Perhaps you’re arriving home and those you love are receiving the worst of your form. This is more than just an off day but can feel like a recurring sense of frustration and overwhelm that you just can’t shake.
You’re ruminating. Overthinking, re-thinking, future thinking, thinking of all the things you should have said, what you will say and how you’ll deal with this person or environment in the future. So much so that you wish you could just stop. You’re missing out on the here and now by obsessing over the past and future in a negative manner.
Your self care habits are taking a hit. You’re finding yourself avoiding things that you normally would have tended to regularly. This is everything from your eating habits and exercise to socialising, taking care of your skin and hair or caring for your home. The things that make you feel good, create positive feelings within and around you are becoming less frequent and as a result you begin to self-sabotage, procrastinate and engage in less healthier activities such as an increase in alcohol, poor nutritious foods and not including yourself in the list of priorities.
Take stock. Commit to giving some time to yourself to explore what is going on around you and within you. You’ll be engaging in self-awareness raising practices by breaking down the different areas of your life bit by bit and understanding how they are impacting you and in turn, how you are impacting other areas of your life.
One way you can do this is journaling. Yes, good old pen and paper. Giving your thoughts space to get out of your head will ease the ruminating you’ve been engaging in and you’ll be able to see patterns on paper where you’ve been most regularly negatively impacted. Research has evidenced how journaling lowers stress and anxiety, helps process feelings and emotions and boosts feelings of good mood, and supports a deeper sense of self through self-discovery and offering multiple perspectives.
Personally, I don’t feel the need to journal daily, however, I do increase my journaling when feeling heightened states of both frustration and joy. Journaling when delightfully happy can help reinforce and promote positive thought processes and resilience as we notice all the good things in our lives and our inner resourcefulness, gifts, talents and the people and experiences we are grateful for.
Another way to reduce the likelihood of hitting burnout is to accept that you can’t and shouldn’t move forward alone. You’re probably an independent character with high expectations of yourself, to the point of striving for a level of perfection and trying to avoid anyone having any reason to criticise you for. This very self-perception is one of the biggest issues standing in your way of calming the heck down and taking a step back from situations that are triggering you.
Focus on what you want. Do you want to be coming home and offloading your mental and emotional manure on your doting family or do you want to be coming home to appreciate good and loving company? Your future is worth you putting in the effort to explore your current circumstances and if needed, engaging in coaching, to uncover the root causes of your stress and create actionable and realistic steps to move forward with support and accountability.
On average, my clients have received significant shifts in their lives from around 4 to 5 coaching sessions. This is how quickly your life can turnaround with the right support. You can enquire about availability here.
Bottom line, take care of yourself. Eating the nutritious food, go for the walk and remember, to your family, you are irreplaceable.
Shanna, x
